Vitsejä sekä hauskoja juttuja

HEART ATTACK
A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's the matter?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten scum, " says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids?!"

 

A brunette and a blonde woman was walking down an alley when the brunette noticed his boyfriend buying a bunch of flowers at a flower shop. She told the blonde, "Oh no, thats my boyfriend buying me flowers again!" To which the blonde replied, "Why, don't you like flowers?". The brunette answered, "No, its not that, but he has all these expectations after he present me with the flowers. Tonight, I'll have to lie on my back with my legs up in the air again!". To which the blonde queried, "Why, don't you have a vase?"

 

The Ugly Duckling
One day three teenage girls were driving along when theyhad a terrible accident. They were all sent to heaven.
At the gates, they met St. Peter. He said to them, "Welcome to Heaven. There is only one rule here, don't stepon the ducks, don't bother them, just leave them alone. Ifyou do bother them in any way you will be handcuffed to the ugliest person in Heaven for all eternity."
The first teen thought that this was rather funny and inall her laughter stepped back almost falling over.
"QUACK!"
She had stepped on a duck and so she was handcuffed to the ugliest person in heaven.
As fate would have it the second teen stepped on a duck also.
She was handcuffed to the second ugliest person in Heaven.
The two girls sat moping at the fact that they were chained to these people for eternity.
The next day they saw the third teen, she was handcuffed to the most gorgeous guy they had ever seen.
She looked at them, realizing their questioning eyes,and said,
"He stepped on a duck."

 

Kaksi Pohjois-Karjalaista hevosmiestä lähti Ruotsiin
kilpailumatkalle. Päättivät säästää rahaa ja ottivat laivalla
hevosensa samaan hyttiin kanssaan.Illan kuluessa miehillä
meni omasta mielestään mukavasti ja päättivät pyytää
tapaamansa maksulliseksi epäilemänsä naisen kanssaan
jatkoille hyttiin. Toinen miehistä kuitenkin muisti, että
siellähän on se hevonen. Ei se toisen mielestä tilannetta
haitannut, kunhan vain pidettiin hytti pimeänä. Yö kului
rattoisasti ja aamulla aamiaispöydässä tehtiin tilit
selväksi. Daami totesi, että teiltä kahdelta hänen on kyllä
otettava kummaltakin 100 euroa, mutta siltä mokkatakkiselta
hän ottaisi vain puhelinnumeron.

 

A Real Ball Buster
"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!”

 

Mikä ei pärise, eikä mahdu perseeseen?

Spoiler

Venäläinen perseenpäristin.

:hitme:

 

The pet store was selling them for $5 a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kind of like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.

 

>
>>Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
>>
>>Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
>>
>>How do I set my laser printer on stun?
>>
>>How is it possible to have a civil war?
>>
>>If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
>>
>>If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
>>
>>If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
>>
>>If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
>>
>>If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
>>
>>If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
>>
>>If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
>>
>>Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
>>
>>Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
>>
>>If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
>>crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
>>
>>Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
>>
>>If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't
>>everyone just move 10 miles away?
>>
>

I'd rather be a "have been" than a "might have been", by far, for a "might have been" has never been, but a "have been" was once an "are".

 

The following is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation in
October 1995, between a US Navy ship off the coast of England, and
some British authority. The transcript was released by the MoD on 10/10/95.

BRITS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision

BRITS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

BRITS: Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.

AMERICANS: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES'
ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS.
I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES
WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

BRITS: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

 

If a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut?


Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.


Following the approval of Viagra by the UK's health authorities, the first shipment arrived yesterday at Heathrow airport, but was hijacked on the way to the pharmacy distribution warehouse. Scotland Yard has warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals

 

tämmönen tupsahti postilaatikkoon
--------------------------------------------

Seuraava poimittiin nyytimistä. Tarinan kristitty
radiojuontaja löytyy muuten osoitteesta
http://www.drlaura.com/main/
-- juttu on siis
mahdollisesti jopa totta.



Seuraava saattaa viehättää niitä, joilla on jonkinlainen
uskonnollinen
yleissivistys. Laura Schlesinger on yhdysvaltalainen
radioesiintyjä,
joka jakaa ohjeita ihmisille, jotka soittavat hänen
ohjelmaansa.
Taannoin hän sanoi, että homoseksuaalisuus on iljetys
viitaten 3.
Mooseksen kirjaan (3. Moos. 18:22) eikä sitä voi missään
tapauksessa
hyväksyä. Seuraavassa avoin kirje, jonka Tri Laura
sai eräältä
kuulijaltaan. Se on julkaistu myös internetissä.


Hyvä tohtori Laura,

Kiitos siitä, että teet niin paljon opettaaksesi
ihmisille Jumalan
lakia. Olen oppinut paljon ohjelmastasi, ja pyrkinyt
myös jakamaan
tietoani niin monelle ihmiselle kuin mahdollista.
Aina kun joku
yrittää puolustella homoseksuaalien elämäntapaa,
yksinkertaisesti
viittaan 3. Mooseksen kirjaan (3. Moos. 18:22),
jossa selkeästi
tuomitaan se iljetyksenä. Keskustelu loppuu siihen.
Tarvitsisin
kuitenkin neuvoasi muutaman muun lain suhteen, miten
niitä pitäisi
noudattaa.

a) Kun poltan alttarilla polttouhria, tiedän, että
siitä syntyy
Herralle mieluisa tuoksuva tuliuhri. (3. Moos. 1:9)
Ongelmana ovat
naapurit. Heidän mielestään tuoksu ei ole mieluisa.
Pitäisikö minun
kirota heidät?

b) Haluaisin myydä tyttäreni orjaksi, mikä 2.
Mooseksen kirjassa
hyväksytään. (2. Moos. 21:7) Nykypäivänä, mikä
mielestäsi olisi
sopiva hinta hänestä?

c) 3. Mooseksen kirjassa (3. Moos. 25:44) todellakin
sanotaan, että
voin omistaa orjia, sekä mies- että naispuolisia, sillä
ehdolla että
he ovat naapurikansojen edustajia. Eräs ystäväni on sitä
mieltä, että
tämä pätee meksikolaisiin, mutta ei
kanadalaisiin. Voisitko
selventää? Miksi en saisi omistaa kanadalaisia?

d) Minulla on naapuri, joka jatkuvasti työskentelee
Sapattina. 2.
Mooseksen kirja (2. Moos. 35:2) selkeästi määrää, että
hänet olisi
surmattava. Onko minulla moraalinen velvollisuus
tappaa hänet itse?

e) Eräs ystäväni on sitä mieltä, että vaikka
simpukoiden syöminen on
iljetys (3. Moos. 11:10), se on kuitenkin vähemmän
iljettävää kuin
homoseksuaalisuus. Olen eri mieltä. Voisitko selventää
tämän asian?

f) 3. Mooseksen kirjan (3. Moos. 21:20) mukaan en saa
lähestyä Jumalan
alttaria, jos minulla on näössä vikaa. Myönnän,
että käytän
lukulaseja. Pitääkö näköni olla virheetön, vai voiko
tätä jotenkin
kiertää?

g) Useimmat miespuoliset ystäväni antavat leikata
hiuksensa, mukaan
lukien myös ohimolta, vaikka tämä on
ehdottomasti kielletty
3. Mooseksen kirjassa (3. Moos. 19:27) Kuinka heidän
tulisi kuolla?

h) Olen oppinut 3. Mooseksen kirjasta (3. Moos. 11:6-8)
että kuolleen
sian koskettaminen tekee minusta saastaisen. Voinko
kuitenkin pelata
amerikkalaista jalkapalloa, jos käytän käsineitä?

i) Sedälläni on maatila. Hän rikkoo 3. Mooseksen kirjan
lakia (3. Moos
19:19) kylvämällä samaan peltoon kahta eri siementä.
Samoin hänen
vaimonsa rikkoo käyttämällä vaatteita, joiden
valmistuksessa on käytetty
kahdenlaista kuitua (puuvilla-polyester-sekoitetta). Hän
myös kiroilee
paljon. Onko todellakin tarpeellista nähdä vaiva kutsua
koko kaupungin
väki kivittämään heitä? (3. Moos. 24:10-16) Emmekö voisi
vain polttaa
heidät perhepiirissä niin kuin teemme ihmisille,
jotka makaavat
puolisonsa perheenjäsenten kanssa? (3. Moos 20:14)


Tiedän, että olet tutkinut näitä asioita laajasti,
joten olen varma,
että voit auttaa. Kiitos taas kerran, että
muistutit meitä
siitä, että
Jumalan sana on ikuinen ja muuttumaton. Uskollinen
kuulijasi ja palvova
ihailijasi

Sean Hayes

 

Sori jos tämä oli jo...

"In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil" -- N.Y. Times, 1/30/02

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA
SYRIA FORM 'AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL'
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form 'Axis of Sometimes Evil'; Other Nations Start Own Clubs
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the 'Axis of Evil', Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the 'Axis of Just as Evil', which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.
'Axis of Evil' members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the 'Axis of Evil'. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In the Napoleanic War you had Britain, Russia, and Prussia. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's 'Axis of Evil' declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.
Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the 'Axis of Sometimes Evil', forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the 'Axis of Occasionally Evil'.
Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the 'Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable'.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the 'Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics'.
Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the 'Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America',
While Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the 'Axis of Countries That Sometimes Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick'. Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell said, "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do".
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the 'Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay"', accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but other world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

 

USAn Bulungin suurlähettiläs vaikeuksissa.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3307/ambassadorbulungi.html

Tuo ´theonion´ vaikuttaisi olevan jenkkien Pahkasika. Aika tyylikkäitä artikkeleja.

mm. Mainoskampanja täydessä käynnissä. "Military Promises 'Huge Numbers' For Gulf War II: The Vengeance"
http://www.theonion.com/onion3809/gulf_war_2.html

Vanhemmista vaikka Serbia Deploys Peacekeeping Forces To U.S. http://www.theonion.com/onion3641/serbia_deploys_forces.html

 

An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining cabins at an old motel. First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep.
Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. He says to himself, "Hmm. How does one put out a fire? One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point, isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. This could be accomplished by applying water." So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall, turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep.
The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bedsheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. He says: "Aha! A solution exists!" and goes back to sleep.




A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in africa. They drive out on the savannah in their jeep, stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.
The biologist: "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle : A white zebra! It's fantastic! There are white zebra's! We'll be famous!"
The statistician: "It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra."
The mathematician: "Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is white on one side."
The computer scientist: "Oh, no! A special case!"




An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician (it is said) were holidaying in Scotland. Glancing from a train window, they observed a black sheep in the middle of a field.
"How interesting," observed the astronomer, "all scottish sheep are black!"
To which the physicist responded, "No, no! Some Scottish sheep are black!"
The mathematician gazed heavenward in supplication, and then intoned, "In Scotland there exists at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black."

 

And God created Finland

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael, the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through
the clouds,
"Look, Michael, look what I've made".
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern
Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot.
Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people,"

God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in
ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large landmass
and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's Finland, the most glorious place on earth. There
are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets, and rolling hills. the people from
Finland are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are
going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable,
hardworking, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the
world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "what about
balance, God? You said there would be balance!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting next to them
in Sweden and Russia."

 

Britney Spears is now offering a new wireless service from her
Web site. For $19.95 per month she calls you up and gives you
updates on everything that is going on - well, actually, it's a
recording of her voice, so it's just like one of her concerts.
--Jay Leno

 

I Love Her, But...
(A collection of men's thoughts on their women.)

... she was furious when I got up early once and made
her breakfast. Called me controlling. How dare I decide
that she would eat breakfast, let alone what she'd have?
--Ted, Wexford, Pa.

... what's mine is hers. I buy her negligees; she
sleeps in my T-shirts. When she's cold she wears my
wool socks to bed, never her own. She steals my half-
used razors; new ones are too sharp. She even wears my
boxers. I'm tempted to switch to briefs just to see
what she'd do.
--Dave, Martha's Vineyard, Mass.

... she makes lists. Things to buy. Things to do.
People to call. If it's not on the list, it doesn't get
done. Once, to be funny, I put "sex" on the list.
Mistake. Now it has to be on the list, or it doesn't
get done.
--Nick, Wheeling, W.Va.

... you can hear her eat soup from the next room.
--Bruce, Bridgewater, N.J.

... when she gets an idea in her head, there's no
stopping her. And no rest for anyone until it's done.
It's not so bad when the idea is to bake cookies, or
even to go on vacation. But when it's to build a new
house, or to get pregnant, things get pretty intense.
--Jim, Minneapolis

... my wife thinks everyone should be a vegetarian.
During meals, she asks people how they can eat dead
cows, or if they know that their pork chops used to be
smarter than their dogs.
--Miles, Shreveport, La.

... every so often boom! she's a brunette. Or I come
home to a redhead. Actually, I have no idea what her
natural color is.
--Cary, Seattle

... she'll brush her teeth but she won't go to the
dentist. She says she's not afraid of the pain, she
just doesn't want to put herself in the hands of any
fellow who'd choose to be a dentist.
--Terence, Gary, Ind.

... she's stopped shaving her legs. She says that now
people will know she's a natural blonde.
--Ned, Tucson, Ariz.

... she takes her half of the bed out of the middle.
-Robin, Gladwyne, Pa.

... have you ever seen a woman with green crust and
slime smeared over her face, dark holes for her
nostrils? Do you think you'd be able to sleep at night,
knowing that creature is next to you?
--Arthur, Cedar City, Utah

... my wife's allergic to everything. Her nose is
chronically stuffed. If I kissed her on the mouth,
she'd suffocate.
--Bryan, Toledo, Ohio

... after sex, I mean the second after, she continues
where she left off. Her eyes open and before you can
breathe, you hear, " ... and, oh, yeah, I have to
defrost the chicken, and your mother wants you to pick
up her dry cleaning ..."
--Jimmy, Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

... in bed I'm her high school teacher, captain of the
football team, her boss, the bad boy, a waiter, a
lifeguard, a telephone repairman, a cop. Once in a
while I'd like to be me.
--Neil, Orlando, Fla.

... she wears these false eyelashes. She left 'em lying
around and I slammed 'em with my newspaper, tried to
kill the damn things. Scared me half to death.
--Gordon, Oklahoma City, Okla.

... she takes those soaps too seriously. I'll come home
and find her in tears because some character died. Or
upset that some nonexistent guy's having a fictional
affair.
--Archie, St. Louis

... she will not shop at discount stores or sales. She
thinks they're crowded and plebeian. She doesn't even
look at the reduced rack, other than, perhaps, for
gifts for my mother.
--Conrad, Wilmington, Del.

... it annoys her that our children look like me.
--James, New Orleans

... counting my wife and our teenage girls, that's four
women. Somebody's always got PMS.
--Everett, Little Rock, Ark.

... with five kids, I don't have time to complain about
my wife. I don't have time to notice her.
--Bob, Charleston, W.Va.

 

Tälläinen löytyi kovalevyn perukoilta. Eikä tämä nyt hauska ole, mutta outo tai jotain =D

 

Kuulumisia naisasiakonferenssista

Kansainvälisessä naisasiakonferenssissa puhui ensin englantilainen nainen: "Viime vuoden konferenssissa päätimme näyttää miehille heidän paikkansa. Kokouksen jälkeen sanoin miehelleni, etten enää laita perheelle ruokaa. Ensimmäisenä päivänä en nähnyt mitään seurauksia. Toisena päivänä en nähnyt mitään, mutta kolmantena päivänä näin kun mieheni laittoi meille ihanan paistin." Konferenssiyleisö taputti seisomaan nousten.

Sitten puhui ruotsalaisnainen: "Viime vuoden konferenssissa päätimme näyttää miehille heidän paikkansa. Kokouksen jälkeen sanoin miehelleni, etten enää tiskaa. Ensimmäisenä päivänä en nähnyt mitään seurauksia. Toisena päivänä en nähnyt mitään, mutta kolmantena päivänä näin, kun mieheni tiskasi kaikki astiat."Ja taas konferenssiyleisö taputti seisomaan nousten.

Viimein puhui suomalainen nainen: "Viime vuoden konferenssissa päätimme näyttää miehille heidän paikkansa. Kokouksen jälkeen sanoin miehelleni, etten enää tee perheen ostoksia. Ensimmäisenä päivänä en nähnyt mitään. Toisena päivänä en nähnyt mitään, mutta kolmantena päivänä näin jo toisella silmällä hiukan."

 

Tuotahan täälläkin joku aika sitte ihmeteltiin oikein Joukolla...

(Siis tuota jeesuskuvaa... Samuli ehti väliin hämäämään)